The Light in the Shadows

“I'm in the back row again,” she remarked as she climbed into the minivan. Her words were matter-or-fact, yet I knew there was more under the surface.

You see, we've had this conversation before. What it looks like to be faithful to the role you're in, regardless of position or performance size. What it looks like to play your part with excellence, whether your moves feel hidden or fully on display.

I won't lie. When I watch a dance, my eyes naturally tend to fall first on those in the front. Dancing hard, going all out, performing their art with precision. But then? Then, I find my eyes drifting to the back. To the sides. To those who you have to search a bit harder to find. Those who find themselves slightly more hidden and are still dancing hard. Going all out. Performing their art with that very same precision and excellence 

Listen, I'm not naive. The spotlight can be a pretty sweet place to be. Performers gonna perform, and what better place to display the fruit of your blood, sweat, and tears than front and center? I get it. But to those in the back row? Those in the proverbial shadows? Know that, time and time again, my eyes are falling squarely on you too. 

What it looks like to be faithful to the role you're in, regardless of position or performance size. What it looks like to play your part with excellence, whether your moves feel hidden or fully on display.

Because there's beauty in showing up week after week to hone your craft for the pure love of the craft alone. For the love of dance. And I sit through enough rehearsals to know when this is happening. 

And, while I might be far from a dancer myself, it still begs the question in my own life: To what end am I working? Why do I keep showing up in the spaces in which I find myself?

Is it the applause, the position, the spotlight? 

Am I doing The Thing for the pure, unadulterated love of The Thing? Or am I doing it all for the sake of what The Thing will get me? 

Dancers, if you happen to be in that spotlight- front and center and all eyes on you- get after it. You've worked for it. Watching you do your thing is such a joy to me because, as one of the resident RUD "dance moms," I have the privilege of watching the lead up and the insanely hard work that has prefaced every single performance. 

And also. If you're a bit off to stage left or maybe comfortably nestled all the way to the back, keep getting after that too. Because I've seen every bit of your hard work as well. I see you quietly, faithfully showing up week after week. I see the smile on your face as you nail new choreography and the struggle you persevere through when you don't. You might be tempted to believe that the audience can't see you. Can't perceive your hard work and dedication. But I beg to differ. Your love for dance is spilling out over there in the shadows. 

And this dance mom is so proud.